Saturday night, a “friend” of mine called me a “nice piece” repeatedly, followed by asking my boyfriend several times if he was going to “tap that”. A year ago, I would have awkwardly laughed about this while boiling on the inside. I would have nervously said “oh knock it off” with a fake smile on my face and then quickly changed the subject. Well, that didn’t happen this time.
Welcome to the new me.
I looked right into his eyes and asked “could you possibly be more disrespectful?” He looked at me as if I was completely insane and then asked ME if I was kidding. “I’m not even close to kidding. I am not a piece of anything. And I’m not something my boyfriend taps. That is a disgusting way to talk about me”. He continued to make facial expressions as if I’m just a basket case and as he rushed out of my home, I heard him say “bitch” under his breath.
Really? That’s all you got!
I have been called every name in the book. In high school, I was a whore and a slut. It must have been true because it was written on my locker with permanent marker. I had a desk thrown at me in the middle of a lecture. I’ve been shoved in the hallway, spit on, taunted, teased and bullied mercilessly.
I’ve had bosses that have used their “power” and “authority” to intimidate me. I’ve had bosses that made my life hell because I wouldn’t be their little hooker. I’ve worked for people who have made me feel like a complete moron just because they could. It was fun for them.
I was married to a man who threw me through a glass shower door and dragged me out of a bar by my hair. This same husband would later tell me to “just fucking get over it” after I lost my dad.
So yes, I finally decided to say what I’ve been wanting to say for the last 25 years. “I’M SICK OF YOUR SHIT!”
I took it out on one person, but you know what? I don’t even feel bad about it. Since the age of 12, I have been working on myself, trying to convince myself that I am more than just a piece of ass. I’ve had so much therapy, I’m probably qualified to be a shrink. I have worked on my self-esteem and my self-worth for far too long, to let some jerk take that all away from me with a few idiotic words.
I prefer being nice. It’s a blessing and a curse. Kindness is very important to me but not to the point of being walked on, like I have been so much in my life. This isn’t a sob story. I’m just done!
So go ahead, call me a bitch because I called you out. I’ve been called much worse. I’m just done accepting that this is my life. I’m done accepting feeling the way haters want me to feel. I’m not sorry!
In fact, I’m so proud of myself I can’t even stand it.