Truth bombs.

I’ve been staring at my screen for a while now, not knowing what I should write about today. Then I started reading a few MSN articles about relationships and I thought, why not? I’ve been in A LOT of relationships so I’m probably an expert, right? OK…clearly not, but there are a few things I know to be true for most people. Here is my top advice for both men and women.

Men….

1)      Never stop trying to win her over. So you’ve been together for a while now and you’re quite comfortable. So comfortable that you think you don’t need to even try anymore because she is clearly not going anywhere. Dude, you’re wrong. If you want to keep her, keep winning her. She needs to know that you still WANT her and that you will put in the effort. So take a little extra time with man-scaping, pick up some flowers and make her a damn meal once in a while. Act as if there’s someone else who could easily swoop in and take your place and you’re not about to let that happen.

2)      Help her out with whatever stresses her out. It’s Thursday and she has a busy weekend ahead and she’s complaining about all of the chores she still has to get done at home. Help a sister out! Pick up a broom, do the dishes, throw in a load of laundry, pick up a few groceries. Do SOMETHING to show her that you really do want to be partners and you care about how stressed out she is and you want to help! You care enough to lighten her load and ease her tensions. It might cut into your “me-time” but you don’t care because you love her and you care about her wellbeing.

3)      Be a real MAN! Be the designated driver, open doors for her, do NOT walk ahead of her, hold her hand and kiss her forehead. Yes, this is a time when women are quite empowered, but I guaran-fuckin-tee that you’re gonna score some major points by being chivalrous. Be her safe place. Don’t be a whiny little bitch either. We hate that.

4)      Tell her she’s beautiful. Not hot, beautiful. For extra points, tell her she’s beautiful inside AND out. We all need to be built up from time to time. We love compliments. Make her feel wanted and desired. It’s like that saying about men needing to be wanted and women wanting to be needed. That’s kinda true. But dammit, you better want her too. And don’t just compliment her. Tell her that you’re thinking of her. Tell her that you appreciate her. If you want her to stay, she better feel pretty damn special because there’s always going to be someone who can pick up your slack. Just sayin.

5)      Make her laugh. This is so important. A couple who laughs together stays together, usually. I don’t know, I just made that up. But for me personally, laughter is a top priority. There’s nothing sexier than a man who can be silly and make you laugh so hard you cry. And what’s better than bonding over ridiculous jokes. It’s the best! Be goofy with her. If you sense an argument brewing, just make her laugh instead! She’ll love you even more for it.

Ladies……

1)      Insecurity is not sexy. We all feel it from time to time, but constantly needing reassurance and comparing yourself to someone else is totally exhausting. Confidence is sexy, jealousy is not. Be the girl that can light up a room when she walks in, and she knows it. If your man is with you, it’s because he wants to be with you. If he wants to be with someone else, he will do it and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it so stop worrying so much!

2)      Don’t be needy. “It’s been 2 hours and he hasn’t texted back. What is going on? I better text him again and restart my phone”. That’s just dumb. Don’t be dumb. You’re important enough to have things that will keep you busy while he’s doing his thing, you don’t NEED constant contact. If a dude wants you, you’ll know it.

3)      Trust him until he gives you a reason not to. Yes, you’ve been burned before. Yes, you’ve been cheated on by some loser and you’ve convinced yourself that all guys are losers. Not true. You have to give him the benefit of the doubt until he proves you wrong, and if he does, you have to say goodbye. Relationships without trust just simply don’t work.

4)      Make sure he knows you want him. If you’re in a public place and you have the urge to kiss him, do it! Tell him you just couldn’t control yourself because he turns you on that much. Let him know that he’s irresistible. Remind him that he’s sexy. Men want to be desired just as much as women do!

5)      Be a real woman. Be authentic and true to yourself. Don’t be the person that you think he wants you to be. The right guy will love you for who you truly are. If you’re not being authentic, he will either see right through it and be turned off that you are fake OR eventually your true colors will show and he will have no idea what he signed up for. Also, being a real woman means being strong and getting shit done. It doesn’t mean being a drama queen who can’t do anything on her own. Know that you don’t NEED a man to complete you. You are already a whole person. And HE is too. Don’t forget that.

Communication is always the key to a successful relationship. So ladies and gents, don’t play games, don’t beat around the bush. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Have the tough conversations. If something bothers you, speak up. We should never feel like we just can’t talk about something with our significant other. We’re not mind readers and no conversation should be off limits. How can you grow together as a couple if you can’t even talk? Learn the best way to communicate with your partner and then speak freely. Don’t let things build up to the point of no return. In the words of En Vogue, free your mind.

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