I remember the day he walked out of my house and slammed the door. I sat on my kitchen floor, sobbing hysterically and begging, screaming for him to come back. He was the one who broke the trust. He was the one who never respected my boundaries or put to rest my insecurities. And yet,…
Whatever it takes.
A few weeks ago, I was working the closing shift at my second job. It was “Halloween dress up” night and I was wearing a pirate costume, although most people referred to me as a bar wench. That’s appropriate I guess, as I was serving beer. I felt a tad uncomfortable in my costume because…
False portrayals.
“You don’t choose bad people. You choose people. How they decide to treat you is their responsibility, not yours.” Wise words from my therapist last week. I’ve been dwelling on these words and hoping to find some truth in there. Hoping to believe it. When I moved away to a different state at 19, I was…
Boundaries like a boss.
I never really had a chance to learn much about boundaries. In fact, I don’t know that I have ever used the word in the same context as I do now. It was not on my radar. When I was assaulted as a 12-year-old girl, it programmed me to believe that I wasn’t worthy of…
Getting right. At least for today.
I took the day off today and I feel guilty about that. I shouldn’t. But I do. I woke up this morning and just couldn’t get out of bed. My body is so tired. Working two jobs is kicking my butt. I love both of my jobs and I’m finally getting to a place where…
Love you mom.
My Marine called me today. It’s 2 am where he is stationed. It’s noon here and I’m at work. I can tell he’s had a few drinks but he’s back in the barracks and going to bed so I can breathe a little easier. As we were about to hang up, we were both talking at…
Burned bridges, bucket lists and bare feet.
The other day I told someone that he’s not happy because he’s constantly reaching, chasing and searching for more. He’s missing out on so much joy because he’s not living in the moment. Then it hit me that I am also guilty. Seems that many of us are just never happy with what we have. We…
Jealous of the heavens.
This morning when my alarm went off, I laid in bed for a while thinking about one of my favorite memories of my dad. I’m not sure if a dream prompted this calm and blissful moment or maybe it was because my jewelry hanger fell from my wall for no reason and I started thinking…
Soak up these moments.
I read an article today about country music star Granger Smith’s final moments with his 3-year-old son. He shared (in a youtube video) that one moment he was playing with his daughter while his two younger sons played with water guns. As he watched his daughter doing gymnastics he thought to himself, “soak up this…
Moving on and getting over.
Most people know about my obsession with John Mayer. He has a song for every mood of mine, every heartbreak and every reason to smile. I’m sitting with my laptop, swaying back and forth to “Your Body is a Wonderland” and I daydream about someone feeling that way about me. “You look so good it…
