Love you mom.

My Marine called me today. It’s 2 am where he is stationed. It’s noon here and I’m at work. I can tell he’s had a few drinks but he’s back in the barracks and going to bed so I can breathe a little easier. As we were about to hang up, we were both talking at…

Burned bridges, bucket lists and bare feet.

The other day I told someone that he’s not happy because he’s constantly reaching, chasing and searching for more. He’s missing out on so much joy because he’s not living in the moment. Then it hit me that I am also guilty. Seems that many of us are just never happy with what we have. We…

Jealous of the heavens.

This morning when my alarm went off, I laid in bed for a while thinking about one of my favorite memories of my dad. I’m not sure if a dream prompted this calm and blissful moment or maybe it was because my jewelry hanger fell from my wall for no reason and I started thinking…

Soak up these moments.

I read an article today about country music star Granger Smith’s final moments with his 3-year-old son. He shared (in a youtube video) that one moment he was playing with his daughter while his two younger sons played with water guns. As he watched his daughter doing gymnastics he thought to himself, “soak up this…

Moving on and getting over.

Most people know about my obsession with John Mayer. He has a song for every mood of mine, every heartbreak and every reason to smile. I’m sitting with my laptop, swaying back and forth to “Your Body is a Wonderland” and I daydream about someone feeling that way about me. “You look so good it…

Breaking the cycle

The cycle has to stop. You are worthy of all the love your heart can hold. The moment that someone makes you feel otherwise, is the moment you need to say goodbye. It will be very hard, and you’ll doubt yourself many times. You’ll even feel some remorse and regret. You’ll spend a lot of…

You know what they say about assumptions…

A few nights ago, I had a dream that I was back in my hometown in Upper Michigan and a car pulled up to me as I was walking. I noticed that the passenger in this car was my high school arch nemesis. Suddenly, something came over me and I began acting like a maniac….

It’s fine. I’m fine.

This is it. This is the big one. It’s happening. This is where it all ends. I set my alarm a half hour earlier today because lately, every morning some strange phenomenon prevents me from being on time. That was pointless. I should know by now that if I set my alarm early, that gives…

My village.

I often stare at my boys and their perfect faces, whether in person or in photo albums, in absolute wonderment. I can’t believe they are mine and that God blessed me with the ultimate gift. I love them so much, sometimes I cry over it. There are hardly words to describe a mother’s love. It’s overwhelming….

Unclean. An uncomfortable discussion.

I really wanted this “loop” to be about positivity and happiness. I had a few things in mind. But between this being Sexual Assault Survivors Month and putting together an outline for a book about the assault, the torment is taking over. I can’t escape the thoughts and I have decided to go back to therapy…