Moving on and getting over.

Most people know about my obsession with John Mayer. He has a song for every mood of mine, every heartbreak and every reason to smile. I’m sitting with my laptop, swaying back and forth to “Your Body is a Wonderland” and I daydream about someone feeling that way about me. “You look so good it…

Breaking the cycle

I have been in a lot of relationships. They have mostly been failures. It’s not something I’m proud of, but I’m not sure why I feel shame when a good love is something we’re all searching for. I just happen to take the scenic route. I’m codependent and it sucks. I have tried figuring out…

You know what they say about assumptions…

A few nights ago, I had a dream that I was back in my hometown in Upper Michigan and a car pulled up to me as I was walking. I noticed that the passenger in this car was my high school arch nemesis. Suddenly, something came over me and I began acting like a maniac….

It’s fine. I’m fine.

This is it. This is the big one. It’s happening. This is where it all ends. I set my alarm a half hour earlier today because lately, every morning some strange phenomenon prevents me from being on time. That was pointless. I should know by now that if I set my alarm early, that gives…

My village.

I often stare at my boys and their perfect faces, whether in person or in photo albums, in absolute wonderment. I can’t believe they are mine and that God blessed me with the ultimate gift. I love them so much, sometimes I cry over it. There are hardly words to describe a mother’s love. It’s overwhelming….

Unclean. An uncomfortable discussion.

I really wanted this “loop” to be about positivity and happiness. I had a few things in mind. But between this being Sexual Assault Survivors Month and putting together an outline for a book about the assault, the torment is taking over. I can’t escape the thoughts and I have decided to go back to therapy…

Until we meet again, sweet angel.

You were the Queen of hidden gems. The Princess of the light. You could find the silver lining in any situation. You often found the humor too, even in the biggest disasters. In the face of an incurable, horrible disease, you smiled. You even made jokes about the people you would like to come back…

Under construction.

I need to drop some dead weight. Lately I feel like I am being weighed down by too many things that don’t serve me well. I think I’ve made too many lifestyle changes in the past few weeks and it has all caught up to me. I switched my birth control method which has left…

Puppy love.

I have despised all canines for over thirty years. I was bit when I was about nine years old. I was on my way home when some neighborhood kids told me to come check out their dog. I reached out my hand to pet it and the next thing I know, I’m being dragged by…

Who can be trusted?

I read a quote today that really resonated with me. “Trust is like a paper. Once it is crumpled, it will never be perfect again.” How true is that? Once trust is broken, things will never be the same. Ever. Even if you fake it, even when you seem happy on the outside, there’s a…