It seems like yesterday I was in my twenties and confident that my life was going to turn out how I had hoped. I was on my way. But then came all the twists and turns and somehow, in the blink of an eye, I found myself nearing the peak of that mountain where I…
It’s a good day to let go.
I think it’s time I got over myself. Ever since I decided to share my traumas with the world, I have been on this amazing, healing journey that has pushed me to grow in so many ways. I feel more in touch with myself than I ever have. I am more aware of who I…
Letters to burn
A few days ago, I woke up in a funk that I haven’t felt in months. I felt dread from the moment I opened my eyes. I was surrounded by doom. I started to visualize the dark shadows of depression and anxiety swirling around in my room. I peeked out my window in hopes of…
Overcoming insecurity and the trust trap.
“How many times do I need to promise that I won’t hurt you? You can trust me!”. If only I had a dollar for every time I needed to hear that. “I just need you to say it!”. Sometimes I would practically spell it out, just to be clear on what I was asking for…
A grateful heart.
I remember the day he walked out of my house and slammed the door. I sat on my kitchen floor, sobbing hysterically and begging, screaming for him to come back. He was the one who broke the trust. He was the one who never respected my boundaries or put to rest my insecurities. And yet,…
Whatever it takes.
A few weeks ago, I was working the closing shift at my second job. It was “Halloween dress up” night and I was wearing a pirate costume, although most people referred to me as a bar wench. That’s appropriate I guess, as I was serving beer. I felt a tad uncomfortable in my costume because…
False portrayals.
“You don’t choose bad people. You choose people. How they decide to treat you is their responsibility, not yours.” Wise words from my therapist last week. I’ve been dwelling on these words and hoping to find some truth in there. Hoping to believe it. When I moved away to a different state at 19, I was…
Boundaries like a boss.
I never really had a chance to learn much about boundaries. In fact, I don’t know that I have ever used the word in the same context as I do now. It was not on my radar. When I was assaulted as a 12-year-old girl, it programmed me to believe that I wasn’t worthy of…
Getting right. At least for today.
I took the day off today and I feel guilty about that. I shouldn’t. But I do. I woke up this morning and just couldn’t get out of bed. My body is so tired. Working two jobs is kicking my butt. I love both of my jobs and I’m finally getting to a place where…
Love you mom.
My Marine called me today. It’s 2 am where he is stationed. It’s noon here and I’m at work. I can tell he’s had a few drinks but he’s back in the barracks and going to bed so I can breathe a little easier. As we were about to hang up, we were both talking at…
