I just need to keep walking away from all of it. The pain, in which there is no end in sight. The betrayal. The constant obsessing over images I’ve conjured up in my mind about what was going on behind closed doors. The agony. The patheticness of blaming myself and asking what I should have…
Better with age.
A few weeks ago, I started a new wake-up ritual. I walk into the bathroom, look in the mirror and say, “good morning my beautiful wrinkles”. It might sound silly, but it makes me feel good in my own skin and every day I feel as if I’m loving myself a little bit more. I…
To be that little girl again.
Do you remember what your life was like before you let society tell you what it should be like? Before you let anyone judge you for how you dress, or what you look like; the things you enjoy or the people you associate with? I often have these beautiful moments of memories that pop into…
The big picture.
I love to stay at home. I loved it a lot more when I had a choice though. This pandemic has changed so much for so many. Income loss, worsened depression and anxiety, longing to be touched again, missing our friends and family; all of this combined with the paralyzing fear that we might get…
Comfort food for the soul
It seems like yesterday I was in my twenties and confident that my life was going to turn out how I had hoped. I was on my way. But then came all the twists and turns and somehow, in the blink of an eye, I found myself nearing the peak of that mountain where I…
It’s a good day to let go.
I think it’s time I got over myself. Ever since I decided to share my traumas with the world, I have been on this amazing, healing journey that has pushed me to grow in so many ways. I feel more in touch with myself than I ever have. I am more aware of who I…
Letters to burn
A few days ago, I woke up in a funk that I haven’t felt in months. I felt dread from the moment I opened my eyes. I was surrounded by doom. I started to visualize the dark shadows of depression and anxiety swirling around in my room. I peeked out my window in hopes of…
Overcoming insecurity and the trust trap.
“How many times do I need to promise that I won’t hurt you? You can trust me!”. If only I had a dollar for every time I needed to hear that. “I just need you to say it!”. Sometimes I would practically spell it out, just to be clear on what I was asking for…
A grateful heart.
I remember the day he walked out of my house and slammed the door. I sat on my kitchen floor, sobbing hysterically and begging, screaming for him to come back. He was the one who broke the trust. He was the one who never respected my boundaries or put to rest my insecurities. And yet,…
Whatever it takes.
A few weeks ago, I was working the closing shift at my second job. It was “Halloween dress up” night and I was wearing a pirate costume, although most people referred to me as a bar wench. That’s appropriate I guess, as I was serving beer. I felt a tad uncomfortable in my costume because…
