I have told myself I would quit drinking many times. The night I went to jail, I was done. The night I broke my collarbone, the night I was sexually assaulted, the night I threw a glass into a cement wall outside of a bar and all the mornings I woke up naked, on the… Continue reading I gave up drinking for Lent. Here’s what happened…
It has been a really long time since I’ve felt authentic. I was slapped in the face with the realization that too many of my human interactions involve seeking approval or validation from other people. So many people have told me, more than once, that I care too much what other people think. I’ve always… Continue reading Approval seeking was slowly killing me.
It’s funny how many times I have uttered the phrase, “they’ll never change”. The hypocrisy of those words are not lost on me, considering the number of times that I have changed. From the way I dress, to my hobbies and interests, my values and beliefs and even the music I listen to, I have… Continue reading Change of heart.
What Jesus means to me...is life. And not just because of the awesome bonus of spending my eternal life with Him in heaven, but also because of the quality of life He gives me here on earth. This has been a year of many obstacles and defining moments that have ultimately brought me closer to… Continue reading Christmas thoughts.
Driving home from work, I suddenly grew emotional over the question…”why?” It brought me back to when my dad passed away, almost 20 years ago and I found myself stuck on that one word. WHY? It didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense and everything was unfair. I think after a few years, I just sort… Continue reading When you don’t know why.
Last night I couldn’t turn my mind off long enough to fall asleep. All kinds of random thoughts were coming and going, some good and some bad. Some were both, depending on how you look at it. I was feeling very lonely, which is a bit sad. Yet, I was content in knowing that this… Continue reading Loneliness
I just need to keep walking away from all of it. The pain, in which there is no end in sight. The betrayal. The constant obsessing over images I’ve conjured up in my mind about what was going on behind closed doors. The agony. The patheticness of blaming myself and asking what I should have… Continue reading Ramblings of my broken heart.
A few weeks ago, I started a new wake-up ritual. I walk into the bathroom, look in the mirror and say, “good morning my beautiful wrinkles”. It might sound silly, but it makes me feel good in my own skin and every day I feel as if I’m loving myself a little bit more. I… Continue reading Better with age.
Do you remember what your life was like before you let society tell you what it should be like? Before you let anyone judge you for how you dress, or what you look like; the things you enjoy or the people you associate with? I often have these beautiful moments of memories that pop into… Continue reading To be that little girl again.
I love to stay at home. I loved it a lot more when I had a choice though. This pandemic has changed so much for so many. Income loss, worsened depression and anxiety, longing to be touched again, missing our friends and family; all of this combined with the paralyzing fear that we might get… Continue reading The big picture.