Ramblings of my broken heart.

I just need to keep walking away from all of it. The pain, in which there is no end in sight. The betrayal. The constant obsessing over images I’ve conjured up in my mind about what was going on behind closed doors. The agony. The patheticness of blaming myself and asking what I should have…

To be that little girl again.

Do you remember what your life was like before you let society tell you what it should be like? Before you let anyone judge you for how you dress, or what you look like; the things you enjoy or the people you associate with? I often have these beautiful moments of memories that pop into…

The big picture.

I love to stay at home. I loved it a lot more when I had a choice though. This pandemic has changed so much for so many. Income loss, worsened depression and anxiety, longing to be touched again, missing our friends and family; all of this combined with the paralyzing fear that we might get…

Letters to burn

A few days ago, I woke up in a funk that I haven’t felt in months. I felt dread from the moment I opened my eyes. I was surrounded by doom. I started to visualize the dark shadows of depression and anxiety swirling around in my room. I peeked out my window in hopes of…

Overcoming insecurity and the trust trap.

“How many times do I need to promise that I won’t hurt you? You can trust me!”. If only I had a dollar for every time I needed to hear that. “I just need you to say it!”. Sometimes I would practically spell it out, just to be clear on what I was asking for…

A grateful heart.

I remember the day he walked out of my house and slammed the door. I sat on my kitchen floor, sobbing hysterically and begging, screaming for him to come back. He was the one who broke the trust. He was the one who never respected my boundaries or put to rest my insecurities. And yet,…

False portrayals.

“You don’t choose bad people. You choose people. How they decide to treat you is their responsibility, not yours.” Wise words from my therapist last week. I’ve been dwelling on these words and hoping to find some truth in there. Hoping to believe it. When I moved away to a different state at 19, I was…

Boundaries like a boss.

I never really had a chance to learn much about boundaries. In fact, I don’t know that I have ever used the word in the same context as I do now. It was not on my radar. When I was assaulted as a 12-year-old girl, it programmed me to believe that I wasn’t worthy of…

Burned bridges, bucket lists and bare feet.

The other day I told someone that he’s not happy because he’s constantly reaching, chasing and searching for more. He’s missing out on so much joy because he’s not living in the moment. Then it hit me that I am also guilty. Seems that many of us are just never happy with what we have. We…

Moving on and getting over.

Most people know about my obsession with John Mayer. He has a song for every mood of mine, every heartbreak and every reason to smile. I’m sitting with my laptop, swaying back and forth to “Your Body is a Wonderland” and I daydream about someone feeling that way about me. “You look so good it…