It has been a really long time since I’ve felt authentic. I was slapped in the face with the realization that too many of my human interactions involve seeking approval or validation from other people. So many people have told me, more than once, that I care too much what other people think. I’ve always… Continue reading Approval seeking was slowly killing me.
There is a scene in the movie “Bridesmaids” in which Annie (a 30-something, single woman, played by Kristen Wiig) goes through some serious, yet comical and totally relatable (at least, to me) mishaps and has to move in with her mom. She has lost her job, her apartment, her business, her boyfriend, her best friend… Continue reading Nowhere to go but up!
I just need to keep walking away from all of it. The pain, in which there is no end in sight. The betrayal. The constant obsessing over images I’ve conjured up in my mind about what was going on behind closed doors. The agony. The patheticness of blaming myself and asking what I should have… Continue reading Ramblings of my broken heart.
I love to stay at home. I loved it a lot more when I had a choice though. This pandemic has changed so much for so many. Income loss, worsened depression and anxiety, longing to be touched again, missing our friends and family; all of this combined with the paralyzing fear that we might get… Continue reading The big picture.
It seems like yesterday I was in my twenties and confident that my life was going to turn out how I had hoped. I was on my way. But then came all the twists and turns and somehow, in the blink of an eye, I found myself nearing the peak of that mountain where I… Continue reading Comfort food for the soul
I think it’s time I got over myself. Ever since I decided to share my traumas with the world, I have been on this amazing, healing journey that has pushed me to grow in so many ways. I feel more in touch with myself than I ever have. I am more aware of who I… Continue reading It’s a good day to let go.
A few days ago, I woke up in a funk that I haven’t felt in months. I felt dread from the moment I opened my eyes. I was surrounded by doom. I started to visualize the dark shadows of depression and anxiety swirling around in my room. I peeked out my window in hopes of… Continue reading Letters to burn
“How many times do I need to promise that I won’t hurt you? You can trust me!”. If only I had a dollar for every time I needed to hear that. “I just need you to say it!”. Sometimes I would practically spell it out, just to be clear on what I was asking for… Continue reading Overcoming insecurity and the trust trap.
I remember the day he walked out of my house and slammed the door. I sat on my kitchen floor, sobbing hysterically and begging, screaming for him to come back. He was the one who broke the trust. He was the one who never respected my boundaries or put to rest my insecurities. And yet,… Continue reading A grateful heart.
A few weeks ago, I was working the closing shift at my second job. It was “Halloween dress up” night and I was wearing a pirate costume, although most people referred to me as a bar wench. That’s appropriate I guess, as I was serving beer. I felt a tad uncomfortable in my costume because… Continue reading Whatever it takes.