A grateful heart.

I remember the day he walked out of my house and slammed the door. I sat on my kitchen floor, sobbing hysterically and begging, screaming for him to come back. He was the one who broke the trust. He was the one who never respected my boundaries or put to rest my insecurities. And yet,…

Whatever it takes.

A few weeks ago, I was working the closing shift at my second job. It was “Halloween dress up” night and I was wearing a pirate costume, although most people referred to me as a bar wench. That’s appropriate I guess, as I was serving beer. I felt a tad uncomfortable in my costume because…

False portrayals.

“You don’t choose bad people. You choose people. How they decide to treat you is their responsibility, not yours.” Wise words from my therapist last week. I’ve been dwelling on these words and hoping to find some truth in there. Hoping to believe it. When I moved away to a different state at 19, I was…

Boundaries like a boss.

I never really had a chance to learn much about boundaries. In fact, I don’t know that I have ever used the word in the same context as I do now. It was not on my radar. When I was assaulted as a 12-year-old girl, it programmed me to believe that I wasn’t worthy of…

Soak up these moments.

I read an article today about country music star Granger Smith’s final moments with his 3-year-old son. He shared (in a youtube video) that one moment he was playing with his daughter while his two younger sons played with water guns. As he watched his daughter doing gymnastics he thought to himself, “soak up this…

Breaking the cycle

The cycle has to stop. You are worthy of all the love your heart can hold. The moment that someone makes you feel otherwise, is the moment you need to say goodbye. It will be very hard, and you’ll doubt yourself many times. You’ll even feel some remorse and regret. You’ll spend a lot of…

You know what they say about assumptions…

A few nights ago, I had a dream that I was back in my hometown in Upper Michigan and a car pulled up to me as I was walking. I noticed that the passenger in this car was my high school arch nemesis. Suddenly, something came over me and I began acting like a maniac….

Unclean. An uncomfortable discussion.

I really wanted this “loop” to be about positivity and happiness. I had a few things in mind. But between this being Sexual Assault Survivors Month and putting together an outline for a book about the assault, the torment is taking over. I can’t escape the thoughts and I have decided to go back to therapy…

Puppy love.

I have despised all canines for over thirty years. I was bit when I was about nine years old. I was on my way home when some neighborhood kids told me to come check out their dog. I reached out my hand to pet it and the next thing I know, I’m being dragged by…

Don’t you judge me.

I’m making a vow, right now, to never use someone’s past against them if they have made a conscious effort to be better. We do it all the time. Every day. Especially now that everything seems to be so politically charged. But at what point do we just let go? At what point do we…