Anxiety, Depression, Faith, healing, Love, Relationships, Trauma, Uncategorized

Hope for the holidays.

I have been so excited about my upcoming vacation. I have no plans, which I thought was exactly what I wanted. I have already mentally checked out at work and I sit here at my desk pondering all the things I can do if I want to. It’s almost Christmas. Everyday that brings me closer… Continue reading Hope for the holidays.

Depression, Faith, healing, Love, Relationships, Trauma

Get out of your way!

“The longer you entertain what’s not for you, the longer you postpone what is.”  That hit me. I wonder where I would be with my life right now, had I not held on so long to the things not meant for me. I wholeheartedly believe in God’s perfect timing, but I also believe that I… Continue reading Get out of your way!

Anxiety, Depression, Faith, healing, Love, Relationships, Trauma

Approval seeking was slowly killing me.

It has been a really long time since I’ve felt authentic. I was slapped in the face with the realization that too many of my human interactions involve seeking approval or validation from other people. So many people have told me, more than once, that I care too much what other people think. I’ve always… Continue reading Approval seeking was slowly killing me.

Anxiety, Depression, healing, Love, Relationships, Trauma, Uncategorized

Ramblings of my broken heart.

I just need to keep walking away from all of it. The pain, in which there is no end in sight. The betrayal. The constant obsessing over images I’ve conjured up in my mind about what was going on behind closed doors. The agony. The patheticness of blaming myself and asking what I should have… Continue reading Ramblings of my broken heart.

Anxiety, Depression, Faith, healing, Love, Relationships, Trauma

A grateful heart.

I remember the day he walked out of my house and slammed the door. I sat on my kitchen floor, sobbing hysterically and begging, screaming for him to come back. He was the one who broke the trust. He was the one who never respected my boundaries or put to rest my insecurities. And yet,… Continue reading A grateful heart.

Anxiety, Trauma

Whatever it takes.

A few weeks ago, I was working the closing shift at my second job. It was “Halloween dress up” night and I was wearing a pirate costume, although most people referred to me as a bar wench. That’s appropriate I guess, as I was serving beer. I felt a tad uncomfortable in my costume because… Continue reading Whatever it takes.

Depression, Faith, healing, Love, Relationships, Trauma

False portrayals.

“You don’t choose bad people. You choose people. How they decide to treat you is their responsibility, not yours.” Wise words from my therapist last week. I’ve been dwelling on these words and hoping to find some truth in there. Hoping to believe it. When I moved away to a different state at 19, I was… Continue reading False portrayals.