It has been a really long time since I’ve felt authentic. I was slapped in the face with the realization that too many of my human interactions involve seeking approval or validation from other people. So many people have told me, more than once, that I care too much what other people think. I’ve always… Continue reading Approval seeking was slowly killing me.
There is a scene in the movie “Bridesmaids” in which Annie (a 30-something, single woman, played by Kristen Wiig) goes through some serious, yet comical and totally relatable (at least, to me) mishaps and has to move in with her mom. She has lost her job, her apartment, her business, her boyfriend, her best friend… Continue reading Nowhere to go but up!
I just need to keep walking away from all of it. The pain, in which there is no end in sight. The betrayal. The constant obsessing over images I’ve conjured up in my mind about what was going on behind closed doors. The agony. The patheticness of blaming myself and asking what I should have… Continue reading Ramblings of my broken heart.
I think it’s time I got over myself. Ever since I decided to share my traumas with the world, I have been on this amazing, healing journey that has pushed me to grow in so many ways. I feel more in touch with myself than I ever have. I am more aware of who I… Continue reading It’s a good day to let go.
I remember the day he walked out of my house and slammed the door. I sat on my kitchen floor, sobbing hysterically and begging, screaming for him to come back. He was the one who broke the trust. He was the one who never respected my boundaries or put to rest my insecurities. And yet,… Continue reading A grateful heart.
A few weeks ago, I was working the closing shift at my second job. It was “Halloween dress up” night and I was wearing a pirate costume, although most people referred to me as a bar wench. That’s appropriate I guess, as I was serving beer. I felt a tad uncomfortable in my costume because… Continue reading Whatever it takes.
“You don’t choose bad people. You choose people. How they decide to treat you is their responsibility, not yours.” Wise words from my therapist last week. I’ve been dwelling on these words and hoping to find some truth in there. Hoping to believe it. When I moved away to a different state at 19, I was… Continue reading False portrayals.
I never really had a chance to learn much about boundaries. In fact, I don’t know that I have ever used the word in the same context as I do now. It was not on my radar. When I was assaulted as a 12-year-old girl, it programmed me to believe that I wasn’t worthy of… Continue reading Boundaries like a boss.
I read an article today about country music star Granger Smith’s final moments with his 3-year-old son. He shared (in a youtube video) that one moment he was playing with his daughter while his two younger sons played with water guns. As he watched his daughter doing gymnastics he thought to himself, “soak up this… Continue reading Soak up these moments.
The cycle has to stop. You are worthy of all the love your heart can hold. The moment that someone makes you feel otherwise, is the moment you need to say goodbye. It will be very hard, and you’ll doubt yourself many times. You’ll even feel some remorse and regret. You’ll spend a lot of… Continue reading Breaking the cycle