Relationships, Uncategorized

Bad ju-ju

Have you ever met someone and within minutes you feel like you know them because of the “vibe” you get from them? It’s a gut feeling that tells you whether you really want to get to know them better or if you should run. Have you spent time with someone and the moment they’re gone you feel like you are just completely wiped out? Or want to jump off a cliff? Why do we allow other people to make us feel so negative? Truth is, some people feed off that bad energy. Misery loves company, right? I often say that I am a good judge of character, but in all honesty, some of my past choices in relationships and friendships don’t necessarily reflect that. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and I often force myself to see the good in someone. Hell, I’ve even found the good in people who, I’m pretty sure didn’t really have a whole lot of goodness. I think I just imagined it. They brought out the worst in me. And I allowed it!

In the past few months, I have been wiser about my decisions on who I spend time with. I have found that people really do have “energies” that we absorb, and it affects us in ways we don’t even see. I used to spend a lot of time with people who suck all the good energy out of me. Without even realizing, I would become impatient, anxious, sometimes even rude because I was surrounding myself with what I like to call “bad ju-ju”. Gossip, insults and drama. It was just too much. So, I did a little experiment and cut out the “bad ju-ju” and I am amazed at how wonderful I feel. Positive vibes only.

I went to my doctor appointment yesterday to follow up on my anti-depressants. My doctor was very surprised at how different I seemed. He’s used to seeing me drained and emotional. But yesterday, I couldn’t stop gushing about happy I am! I went on and on about how I’ve been eating better and taking better care of myself and how I rarely cry anymore. I’m just in a good place. He asked me what I had changed about my routine and my life. I told him that I just started surrounding myself with better people. I spend my time with people who help me see the bright side of things and who make me want to be a better person. People who want me to succeed. I go where the love is.

Transfer of energy is a real thing. We really do pick up on other people’s vibes and it’s hard to stay positive when you’re surrounded by negative energy. So, I just stopped doing it. There are always going to be people who are just so negative, you find yourself completely exhausted when you’re around them. Those are the “energy suckers” and you shouldn’t let them invade your space. It’s ok to distance yourself from anyone who makes you feel dark. Everyone goes through hard times when they might not be the most cheerful soul. I’m not saying you should completely ghost someone and never be there for them, but sometimes you need to take a step back for your own well-being. Create some healthy space. And then maybe, sometimes you DO have to ghost them. And that is OK too! There is nothing wrong with looking out for yourself and for your own mental and emotional health.

If you find that you’re feeling down too often and that you’re carrying a lot of negativity, take inventory of your surroundings. Pay attention to what types of feelings are stirred up when you’re around certain people. Take notes even. Write down how you see yourself and how you act and feel when you are around these people, and then decide how you WANT to act and feel. Do you like feeling angry at the world? Or do you want to brighten up someone’s day? Do you feel like you’re being true to YOU? Choosing your people is an important part of self-care. Surrounding yourself with positive energy is critical. Distancing yourself from someone can be difficult. But when you do it, you’ll find that your inner peace is so worth it. You’re no longer a ball of tension. You can let your shoulders down and you are free to be yourself. You’ll be happier! That’s just good ju-ju.




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