I have been so excited about my upcoming vacation. I have no plans, which I thought was exactly what I wanted. I have already mentally checked out at work and I sit here at my desk pondering all the things I can do if I want to. It’s almost Christmas. Everyday that brings me closer to my favorite holiday should be filled with excitement and gratitude. Instead, I find myself becoming depressed. As friends make their holiday plans with family, I am reminded of my solitude. As lovers rush to the stores to buy that perfect gift for the one who holds their heart, I dwell on my own loneliness and emptiness. I feel selfish and I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. But I do want to feel this with every ounce of my being, because I have hope that this will be my last holiday season of sadness. I am manifesting change. This is my hope for myself and for anyone else who can’t seem to find their joy this time of year.
I hope that when your next great love finds you, you are ready. Whether that is a person, a friend, a lover, a new hobby, career, art or a new pet, I hope it erases all of the hunger you used to have for it. I hope you feel grateful for it and that you never need to question the purpose of a thankful heart again.
I hope you learn to laugh at yourself and realize that no one else needs to be in on the joke. Whatever it is, it is yours. Bad decisions and embarrassments, faulty judgment and downward spirals, all of it. It is conquered with acceptance. It is done, and you are human. We’re all messed up.
I hope you start replacing the word “failure” with “lesson”.
I hope you make more time for the people who add to your life, and say goodbye to the takers.
I hope you start to listen to your intuition sooner, so that you stop making excuses for the takers.
I hope for a softer heart. One that can love freely without fear, and without those walls you put up. Because one day, there will be someone who sees all of you and treasures all of you.
I hope you recognize the miracles that surround you every single day. I hope you wake up knowing that every morning, you are new and everyday is a gift.
I hope you stop allowing yourself to be an “option” or a “convenience”. You are so much more and this is the year that you believe it. You are enough.
I hope you know that it’s not always about you. It’s not what’s wrong with you or what you are too much of or not enough of. The right person will never make you question your worth.
I hope you can be vulnerable. You being authentically you is the most beautiful thing there is.
I hope you love your body. I hope you are good to your body. It is a precious and perfect creation.
I hope you accept that not everyone will like you and that’s ok. There will always be the ones who take pleasure in your suffering. Be thankful you are nothing like them.
I hope you celebrate your growth, even when you only take baby steps. Get messy, get uncomfortable and dig deep into the dirt. Plant a new seed in your soul and bloom! You will see the fruits of your labor and it will be worth every teardrop.
I hope you forgive, even when you haven’t received an apology. Resentment only hurts you.
I hope you heal from all the things you have buried so deep.
I hope you burn all the negative self-talk in a raging fire. I hope the words are destroyed forever.
I hope you use every opportunity to show kindness and that you never take it for granted.
I hope you dance in the kitchen more and when it’s summertime again, that you feel the grass between your toes.
I hope you see the ways in which the light always wins over the darkness.
I hope you start saying what you mean, and meaning what you say. Talk about how you feel and never be afraid to set boundaries.
I hope you find new friendships in unexpected places.
I hope you decide to make the most out of your time here on earth. You’ve already spent too much time uncertain, questioning, longing, reaching, haunted and scarred. Breathe in the fresh, new air of every moment and be there. Really be there, in that moment, aware and present.
I hope you become confident in your own skin and comfortable in your own sexuality. It’s your own, so own it.
I hope you make amends with a family member who feels more like a stranger.
I hope you find yourself a tribe who embraces everything that you are and builds you up as often as you need it. I hope you do the same for them.
I hope you are ready for an upgrade. Let’s speak all of this into existence. Let’s take better care of our minds, bodies and souls. It’s time. A new year is upon us and I for one, am ready to be out of this funk. I hope you will join me in shaking things up.
I hope you stop settling for less than what you deserve.
I hope next Christmas I won’t need to write another piece about the upcoming new year because I will be too caught up in my own happiness. But if I do, I hope you tell me to never stop hoping.