I crave contentment. I'm desperate for it. My whole life I have been searching for it. A lot can be said about being happy. I am happy. But I'm not content. I love life, but I do not feel safe. My heart does not feel safe. I live in fear every day. Fear of being… Continue reading Shatter
Today I walked into work like I do every day. I rounded a corner and I knew someone was there. I heard the footsteps before I got there. I looked up to see my co-worker and then I screamed. My heart was racing and I was afraid. I knew she was standing there and yet… Continue reading The lingering effects of assault.
I know of two men who have gotten away with rape. I know this for a fact because both times, it happened to me. They are two very different scenarios, but both events have had a tremendous effect on me. I know it might seem far-fetched. Being raped once is hard enough to fathom. But… Continue reading A very flawed system.
There’s a sign in my kitchen that reads “Today's Menu – Take It or Leave It”. I’ve had that sign for 10 years. I’ve always thought it was cute. This morning, I read it differently. I started to think about how funny it is that I have this sign, and yet that’s not how I… Continue reading The beauty in emotional vulnerability.
My heart is beating so fast, I think it might explode. I feel dizzy. My shoulders are bunched up and I can actually feel the knots forming in my back. I don’t want anyone to see me like this. It will be too embarrassing. I’m acting crazy. I’m fearing the worst possible scenario. My face… Continue reading The black cloud.
The first time I starved myself was shortly after my dad died. I was swimming in our family pool with my 3 year old son and as I was getting out of the pool, someone had made a comment to me about my cellulite. That was all it took. That was the trigger. Anorexia is… Continue reading My battle with food.
I am blessed to be the mother of two sons. One proudly serves our country and the other is an outdoorsman who loves all things Tupac. I’ve often joked that God knew what He was doing when He gave me two sons because there is no way I could handle a mini-me. But as I… Continue reading To the daughter I never had.
I have been in therapy since I was 24. When my dad died, I couldn't get a hold of myself. Everything about me was just...dark. I would come home every day and try so hard to be the best mom I could be to my little boy, but I would always end up retreating into… Continue reading I’m O.K. You’re O.K.
Countless times in my life, I have forgiven someone without getting an apology. I chose to forgive so I could move on with my life and not be burdened with resentment. More often than not, I can walk away from the person who wronged me and know that I’m better off without them in my… Continue reading The power of “I’m sorry”
Everyone has a breaking point. That moment when you know, enough is enough. You’re afraid and you know that making a change is going to hurt like hell, but you also know, without a doubt, that a change has to be made. There’s no turning back. So often we tell ourselves that things will get… Continue reading I’ve got this.