Breaking the cycle

The cycle has to stop. You are worthy of all the love your heart can hold. The moment that someone makes you feel otherwise, is the moment you need to say goodbye. It will be very hard, and you’ll doubt yourself many times. You’ll even feel some remorse and regret. You’ll spend a lot of…

Until we meet again, sweet angel.

You were the Queen of hidden gems. The Princess of the light. You could find the silver lining in any situation. You often found the humor too, even in the biggest disasters. In the face of an incurable, horrible disease, you smiled. You even made jokes about the people you would like to come back…

The branch.

I have always believed that the universe gives us what we need, when we need it. We might not understand the reasoning or the timing, but there are no mistakes. God’s timing and His answers to our prayers are always perfect, as painful or as wonderful as they may be. That gives me a lot…

Shatter

I crave contentment. I’m desperate for it. My whole life I have been searching for it. A lot can be said about being happy. I am happy. But I’m not content. I love life, but I do not feel safe. My heart does not feel safe. I live in fear every day. Fear of being…

The lingering effects of assault.

Today I walked into work like I do every day. I rounded a corner and I knew someone was there. I heard the footsteps before I got there. I looked up to see my co-worker and then I screamed. My heart was racing and I was afraid. I knew she was standing there and yet…

A very flawed system.

I know of two men who have gotten away with rape. I know this for a fact because both times, it happened to me. They are two very different scenarios, but both events have had a tremendous effect on me. I know it might seem far-fetched. Being raped once is hard enough to fathom. But…

The beauty in emotional vulnerability.

There’s a sign in my kitchen that reads “Today’s Menu – Take It or Leave It”. I’ve had that sign for 10 years. I’ve always thought it was cute. This morning, I read it differently. I started to think about how funny it is that I have this sign, and yet that’s not how I…

The black cloud.

My heart is beating so fast, I think it might explode. I feel dizzy. My shoulders are bunched up and I can actually feel the knots forming in my back. I don’t want anyone to see me like this. It will be too embarrassing. I’m acting crazy. I’m fearing the worst possible scenario. My face…

My battle with food.

The first time I starved myself was shortly after my dad died. I was swimming in our family pool with my 3 year old son and as I was getting out of the pool, someone had made a comment to me about my cellulite. That was all it took. That was the trigger. Anorexia is…

To the daughter I never had.

I am blessed to be the mother of two sons. One proudly serves our country and the other is an outdoorsman who loves all things Tupac. I’ve often joked that God knew what He was doing when He gave me two sons because there is no way I could handle a mini-me. But as I…