I have told myself I would quit drinking many times. The night I went to jail, I was done. The night I broke my collarbone, the night I was sexually assaulted, the night I threw a glass into a cement wall outside of a bar and all the mornings I woke up naked, on the… Continue reading I gave up drinking for Lent. Here’s what happened…
It has been a really long time since I’ve felt authentic. I was slapped in the face with the realization that too many of my human interactions involve seeking approval or validation from other people. So many people have told me, more than once, that I care too much what other people think. I’ve always… Continue reading Approval seeking was slowly killing me.
It’s funny how many times I have uttered the phrase, “they’ll never change”. The hypocrisy of those words are not lost on me, considering the number of times that I have changed. From the way I dress, to my hobbies and interests, my values and beliefs and even the music I listen to, I have… Continue reading Change of heart.
Driving home from work, I suddenly grew emotional over the question…”why?” It brought me back to when my dad passed away, almost 20 years ago and I found myself stuck on that one word. WHY? It didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense and everything was unfair. I think after a few years, I just sort… Continue reading When you don’t know why.
I love to stay at home. I loved it a lot more when I had a choice though. This pandemic has changed so much for so many. Income loss, worsened depression and anxiety, longing to be touched again, missing our friends and family; all of this combined with the paralyzing fear that we might get… Continue reading The big picture.
I think it’s time I got over myself. Ever since I decided to share my traumas with the world, I have been on this amazing, healing journey that has pushed me to grow in so many ways. I feel more in touch with myself than I ever have. I am more aware of who I… Continue reading It’s a good day to let go.
The cycle has to stop. You are worthy of all the love your heart can hold. The moment that someone makes you feel otherwise, is the moment you need to say goodbye. It will be very hard, and you’ll doubt yourself many times. You’ll even feel some remorse and regret. You’ll spend a lot of… Continue reading Breaking the cycle
You were the Queen of hidden gems. The Princess of the light. You could find the silver lining in any situation. You often found the humor too, even in the biggest disasters. In the face of an incurable, horrible disease, you smiled. You even made jokes about the people you would like to come back… Continue reading Until we meet again, sweet angel.
I have always believed that the universe gives us what we need, when we need it. We might not understand the reasoning or the timing, but there are no mistakes. God’s timing and His answers to our prayers are always perfect, as painful or as wonderful as they may be. That gives me a lot… Continue reading The branch.
I crave contentment. I'm desperate for it. My whole life I have been searching for it. A lot can be said about being happy. I am happy. But I'm not content. I love life, but I do not feel safe. My heart does not feel safe. I live in fear every day. Fear of being… Continue reading Shatter