“How many times do I need to promise that I won’t hurt you? You can trust me!”. If only I had a dollar for every time I needed to hear that. “I just need you to say it!”. Sometimes I would practically spell it out, just to be clear on what I was asking for… Continue reading Overcoming insecurity and the trust trap.
I remember the day he walked out of my house and slammed the door. I sat on my kitchen floor, sobbing hysterically and begging, screaming for him to come back. He was the one who broke the trust. He was the one who never respected my boundaries or put to rest my insecurities. And yet,… Continue reading A grateful heart.
“You don’t choose bad people. You choose people. How they decide to treat you is their responsibility, not yours.” Wise words from my therapist last week. I’ve been dwelling on these words and hoping to find some truth in there. Hoping to believe it. When I moved away to a different state at 19, I was… Continue reading False portrayals.
I never really had a chance to learn much about boundaries. In fact, I don’t know that I have ever used the word in the same context as I do now. It was not on my radar. When I was assaulted as a 12-year-old girl, it programmed me to believe that I wasn’t worthy of… Continue reading Boundaries like a boss.
The other day I told someone that he’s not happy because he’s constantly reaching, chasing and searching for more. He’s missing out on so much joy because he’s not living in the moment. Then it hit me that I am also guilty. Seems that many of us are just never happy with what we have. We… Continue reading Burned bridges, bucket lists and bare feet.
Most people know about my obsession with John Mayer. He has a song for every mood of mine, every heartbreak and every reason to smile. I'm sitting with my laptop, swaying back and forth to "Your Body is a Wonderland" and I daydream about someone feeling that way about me. "You look so good it… Continue reading Moving on and getting over.
The cycle has to stop. You are worthy of all the love your heart can hold. The moment that someone makes you feel otherwise, is the moment you need to say goodbye. It will be very hard, and you’ll doubt yourself many times. You’ll even feel some remorse and regret. You’ll spend a lot of… Continue reading Breaking the cycle
A few nights ago, I had a dream that I was back in my hometown in Upper Michigan and a car pulled up to me as I was walking. I noticed that the passenger in this car was my high school arch nemesis. Suddenly, something came over me and I began acting like a maniac.… Continue reading You know what they say about assumptions…
Oh 2018, you did a number on me. I cried a lot. My heart ached so much at times that I didn’t know how I was going to recover. I said quite a few “goodbyes” and once or twice, felt as though I was completely unraveling. There was confusion, doubt, despair, desperation, anxiety and fear.… Continue reading Fragile and fierce.
I haven’t written much lately. I guess I haven’t felt inspired. But whenever this happens, I know that if I just give it some time, the universe will speak to me and the words will start flowing again. I write a lot about my journey in finding myself and about trauma and how that has… Continue reading No love for the haters.