It has been a really long time since I’ve felt authentic. I was slapped in the face with the realization that too many of my human interactions involve seeking approval or validation from other people. So many people have told me, more than once, that I care too much what other people think. I’ve always… Continue reading Approval seeking was slowly killing me.
Tag: Self esteem
To be that little girl again.
Do you remember what your life was like before you let society tell you what it should be like? Before you let anyone judge you for how you dress, or what you look like; the things you enjoy or the people you associate with? I often have these beautiful moments of memories that pop into… Continue reading To be that little girl again.
New levels, old devils. (Same ol’ situation)
I have a deep love/hate relationship with alcohol. I love drinking. I love feeling like someone else for a while. I have more confidence after a few drinks and I’m convinced I am much more fun when I’m tipsy. In my mind, I’m hilarious when I’ve got a good buzz going and people really enjoy… Continue reading New levels, old devils. (Same ol’ situation)
Last night I ran into someone that I hadn’t seen in a while. I knew I would be running into him and I was hesitant because the last time I heard from him, he was bad mouthing me. It hurt back then, especially because I thought we were friends. But, I figured he would be… Continue reading Power struggles.
Fragile and fierce.
Oh 2018, you did a number on me. I cried a lot. My heart ached so much at times that I didn’t know how I was going to recover. I said quite a few “goodbyes” and once or twice, felt as though I was completely unraveling. There was confusion, doubt, despair, desperation, anxiety and fear.… Continue reading Fragile and fierce.
No love for the haters.
I haven’t written much lately. I guess I haven’t felt inspired. But whenever this happens, I know that if I just give it some time, the universe will speak to me and the words will start flowing again. I write a lot about my journey in finding myself and about trauma and how that has… Continue reading No love for the haters.
Don’t you judge me.
I'm making a vow, right now, to never use someone's past against them if they have made a conscious effort to be better. We do it all the time. Every day. Especially now that everything seems to be so politically charged. But at what point do we just let go? At what point do we… Continue reading Don’t you judge me.
Halloween this year was quite significant for me. Every year, I go all out. I spend a lot of time on my costumes. I take it very seriously, and a few years I have even won the top prize at the costume contests that are scattered throughout the bars in town. I love getting into… Continue reading Masks
No, I didn’t let myself go. I just let go.
I make fun of myself a lot. I do that because it makes me feel better about the things I’m insecure about. And because I don’t want anyone to really know that I’m insecure about it because that just makes me look insecure. Anyways, in recent weeks, I’ve gained a few pounds. OK, more than… Continue reading No, I didn’t let myself go. I just let go.
The news broke yesterday that Dolores O’Riordan, beloved singer of The Cranberries, died from accidental drowning due to alcohol intoxication. She passed away in January, but the cause of death had just been released. Her death hit me hard because she has always been one of my favorite singers and I love what she stood… Continue reading Self-medicating.