Comfort food for the soul

It seems like yesterday I was in my twenties and confident that my life was going to turn out how I had hoped. I was on my way. But then came all the twists and turns and somehow, in the blink of an eye, I found myself nearing the peak of that mountain where I…

False portrayals.

“You don’t choose bad people. You choose people. How they decide to treat you is their responsibility, not yours.” Wise words from my therapist last week. I’ve been dwelling on these words and hoping to find some truth in there. Hoping to believe it. When I moved away to a different state at 19, I was…

Moving on and getting over.

Most people know about my obsession with John Mayer. He has a song for every mood of mine, every heartbreak and every reason to smile. I’m sitting with my laptop, swaying back and forth to “Your Body is a Wonderland” and I daydream about someone feeling that way about me. “You look so good it…

It’s fine. I’m fine.

This is it. This is the big one. It’s happening. This is where it all ends. I set my alarm a half hour earlier today because lately, every morning some strange phenomenon prevents me from being on time. That was pointless. I should know by now that if I set my alarm early, that gives…

My village.

I often stare at my boys and their perfect faces, whether in person or in photo albums, in absolute wonderment. I can’t believe they are mine and that God blessed me with the ultimate gift. I love them so much, sometimes I cry over it. There are hardly words to describe a mother’s love. It’s overwhelming….

Until we meet again, sweet angel.

You were the Queen of hidden gems. The Princess of the light. You could find the silver lining in any situation. You often found the humor too, even in the biggest disasters. In the face of an incurable, horrible disease, you smiled. You even made jokes about the people you would like to come back…

Under construction.

I need to drop some dead weight. Lately I feel like I am being weighed down by too many things that don’t serve me well. I think I’ve made too many lifestyle changes in the past few weeks and it has all caught up to me. I switched my birth control method which has left…

New levels, old devils. (Same ol’ situation)

I have a deep love/hate relationship with alcohol. I love drinking. I love feeling like someone else for a while. I have more confidence after a few drinks and I’m convinced I am much more fun when I’m tipsy. In my mind, I’m hilarious when I’ve got a good buzz going and people really enjoy…

Power struggles.

Last night I ran into someone that I hadn’t seen in a while. I knew I would be running into him and I was hesitant because the last time I heard from him, he was bad mouthing me. It hurt back then, especially because I thought we were friends. But, I figured he would be…

Fragile and fierce.

Oh 2018, you did a number on me. I cried a lot. My heart ached so much at times that I didn’t know how I was going to recover. I said quite a few “goodbyes” and once or twice, felt as though I was completely unraveling. There was confusion, doubt, despair, desperation, anxiety and fear….