Moving on and getting over.

Most people know about my obsession with John Mayer. He has a song for every mood of mine, every heartbreak and every reason to smile. I’m sitting with my laptop, swaying back and forth to “Your Body is a Wonderland” and I daydream about someone feeling that way about me. “You look so good it…

It’s fine. I’m fine.

This is it. This is the big one. It’s happening. This is where it all ends. I set my alarm a half hour earlier today because lately, every morning some strange phenomenon prevents me from being on time. That was pointless. I should know by now that if I set my alarm early, that gives…

My village.

I often stare at my boys and their perfect faces, whether in person or in photo albums, in absolute wonderment. I can’t believe they are mine and that God blessed me with the ultimate gift. I love them so much, sometimes I cry over it. There are hardly words to describe a mother’s love. It’s overwhelming….

Until we meet again, sweet angel.

You were the Queen of hidden gems. The Princess of the light. You could find the silver lining in any situation. You often found the humor too, even in the biggest disasters. In the face of an incurable, horrible disease, you smiled. You even made jokes about the people you would like to come back…

Under construction.

I need to drop some dead weight. Lately I feel like I am being weighed down by too many things that don’t serve me well. I think I’ve made too many lifestyle changes in the past few weeks and it has all caught up to me. I switched my birth control method which has left…

New levels, old devils. (Same ol’ situation)

I have a deep love/hate relationship with alcohol. I love drinking. I love feeling like someone else for a while. I have more confidence after a few drinks and I’m convinced I am much more fun when I’m tipsy. In my mind, I’m hilarious when I’ve got a good buzz going and people really enjoy…

Power struggles.

Last night I ran into someone that I hadn’t seen in a while. I knew I would be running into him and I was hesitant because the last time I heard from him, he was bad mouthing me. It hurt back then, especially because I thought we were friends. But, I figured he would be…

Fragile and fierce.

Oh 2018, you did a number on me. I cried a lot. My heart ached so much at times that I didn’t know how I was going to recover. I said quite a few “goodbyes” and once or twice, felt as though I was completely unraveling. There was confusion, doubt, despair, desperation, anxiety and fear….

No love for the haters.

I haven’t written much lately. I guess I haven’t felt inspired. But whenever this happens, I know that if I just give it some time, the universe will speak to me and the words will start flowing again. I write a lot about my journey in finding myself and about trauma and how that has…

Masks

Halloween this year was quite significant for me. Every year, I go all out. I spend a lot of time on my costumes. I take it very seriously, and a few years I have even won the top prize at the costume contests that are scattered throughout the bars in town. I love getting into…